Are you ever fascinated by things that are, well, unusual? Of course you are! Vampires, serial killers, fake news… turn on the television or search YouTube, and you’ll have your choice of “unusual” topics to explore.
I have many unusual topics that fascinate me, but lately I’ve been thinking about myself and the inner workings of my brain. I have often wondered if I sometimes do things that I cannot recall later. I don’t think that I do, and yet.. it is tantalizing to contemplate whether there is a side of me that is so hidden, I cannot access it.
Like most people, I experience deja vu. Sometimes, a feeling or experience is so familiar that I’d swear I dreamt it before it happened. Whether it is dual neurological processing, forgotten knowledge, or familiarity based recognition, these feelings are fascinating to me. Another explanation could be that one side of me, the shadowy side that is less accessible, has additional or different memories and experiences, and these cause deja vu with the “self” I am most familiar with.
I found a book the other day, inscribed by me, but I had never seen it before. The handwriting is mine, the signature familiar, though a younger version of my current penmanship. The book is stored on that other side, the memory associated with it inaccessible. The more I contemplate the book, trying to remember where, when, and how I acquired it, and what prompted my inscription, the more I am faced with a blank. Perhaps tonight, I will access the answers in my dreams.